{"id":1239,"date":"2022-03-17T21:30:53","date_gmt":"2022-03-18T05:30:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/siangandannie.com\/peregrinate\/?p=1239"},"modified":"2024-06-22T10:39:49","modified_gmt":"2024-06-22T18:39:49","slug":"annie-an","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/siangandannie.com\/peregrinate\/annie-an\/","title":{"rendered":"Annie \u2022 \u5b89 \u2022 \u0101n"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u5b89 ~ Peaceful, calm, safe, quiet, secure, tranquil, serene. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Annie passed away this afternoon and is finally at eternal rest. She ended her walk in this life with grace and full of love up till her final step. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

At noon, she touched her ring finger and asked for the little thing. And the thing to keep warm. I fetched her wedding ring to put on her finger; and the fleece coat that she’s lounged in at home all these years, the Christmas gift from the year we got engaged.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Alert yesterday, over a period in the morning and at lunch hour, she had moments of smiles and clarity. Even jokes, using phrases like “patient driven” in english and “hey, terminal lucidity” in cantonese. It is a blessing that she was not deep in hypoactive delirium and encephalopathy for long, and thus few challenging days for her. She got to live out a sunset that allowed as much clarity and vibrancy as possible till a shorter steeper decline curve, rather than a long slow clouded one. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the afternoon, she started expressing a difficulty with breathing; yes it is a nervous sound to hear. Despite that, she aroused with enough lucidity to let know she knew it was time, and replied that she was not afraid, and not in pain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And in one of her bigger gasps of air, she calls me by our affectionate nickname, gathers the strength to position her arms to ask for a hug, and hugging me, says in mandarin, “Say it one more time.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“From the weekend about where you dreamed?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Mmm,” she nodded by the side of my head. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wish you serenity, I wish you peace.
I wish you joy, I wish you happiness.
I wish you calm. I wish you comfort.
I wish you love.
~ to Annie<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

~<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"final<\/a>
final embrace<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Shortly after, her breathing slowed to a calm shallow pace, I snuggled onto the bed beside her and sat there with her till she gently completed her journey in this world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She gets bathed one last time, gently and softly. Her regular lotion applied as she would herself each evening in normal daily life, and her hair brushed one last time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her calm and beautiful face leaves me the same assurance of peace that she has brought to my life, our lives. Each contemplation here is soaked in a stream of sadness. And sharing this post is difficult, because I know this results in a shared grief among all the wonderful people who have been graced by her beautiful soul. Thank you. For all the kindness and love you have given her and I all along this journey. We have felt very grateful. Those of you who have traveled along, stepped close, walked close, or drawn close in spirit from afar; for a chapter or for the whole journey. In this life, you have made someone know very deeply that she was loved; you made Annie’s life beautiful. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the peaceful currents that eddy gently around us and carry her to another place, the sense of gratitude is ever present. She wears the dress that has been with her on adventures throughout the world; and now to roam the heavens. Despite eighteen years of cancer dealings, a good life, a good death, a serene afterlife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With my beautiful half away to her forever, my promise of love fulfilled, I turn to face the tall waves of emotions that have only managed to push me to one knee on occasion. This time, they crescendo and overwhelm me, forcing me to yield. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am torn apart. I am bereft.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

~~~ <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026in plenty and in want; in joy and in sorrow; in sickness and in health; as long as we both shall live.
~ vows, 2001 <\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

~~~<\/p>\n\n\n\n

.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"dress<\/a>
dress for a lifetime of adventures, and for exploring the heavens<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

prewritten: this blog will continue to update for awhile without email updates. to grieve and to share resources from the past eighteen years that may help others.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u5b89 ~ Peaceful, calm, safe, quiet, secure, tranquil, serene. Annie passed away this afternoon and is finally at eternal rest. She ended her walk in this life with grace and full of love up till her final step. At noon, she touched her ring finger and asked for the little thing. And the thing to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"pgc_sgb_lightbox_settings":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[6,7,8],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/siangandannie.com\/peregrinate\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1239"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/siangandannie.com\/peregrinate\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/siangandannie.com\/peregrinate\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/siangandannie.com\/peregrinate\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/siangandannie.com\/peregrinate\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1239"}],"version-history":[{"count":46,"href":"https:\/\/siangandannie.com\/peregrinate\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1239\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1322,"href":"https:\/\/siangandannie.com\/peregrinate\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1239\/revisions\/1322"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/siangandannie.com\/peregrinate\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1239"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/siangandannie.com\/peregrinate\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1239"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/siangandannie.com\/peregrinate\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1239"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}